June 3, 2020
Up to no good?
A new and exciting experience that I have been enjoying so much! A luxury picnic in the park – 3hrs outside in a secluded spot with bubbles and good food, £550 for 3 hours. Low risk, high reward, and a pleasant escape from life’s stresses. You bring the bubbles, I bring food, flirtation, and temptation!
A list of very believable excuses for gentlemen looking to sneak out of the house to enjoy a luxurious picnic date with me:
- You’ve been contacted by NASA to take part in a top secret 3 hour mission. But first you must buy a £550 space suit.
- A helpless kitten is stuck up the tree. You must go to the park immediately with a bottle of champagne and some snacks to tempt it down (this may take a while, perhaps three hours or so). Feul prices have risen recently, so it’s best to bring £550 petrol money with you. Just in case.
- A colleague is being held hostage, and you need to pay the £550 ransom money to set them free.
- You’ve run out of apples and need to walk to an apple tree approximately 3 hours away. These apples are particularly expensive: £550 each, so you’ll only buy one.
- 550 goats have escaped from a farm in Scotland. You have been asked to help the effort to round them up. You’ll need to take £550 worth of petrol money and a cheese board with you (the farmer has advised you that goats love cheese).