First things first: having finally endured the most anticlimactic penetration of my life, I can now proudly say I’m 50% of the way towards being vaccinated. What do I get in return? Extra freedoms? The right to roam country to country? VIP Formula 1 tickets? …No, all you receive in return is a superiority complex and a sticker that looks like it was designed by a graphics intern (it probably was).
But now onwards and upwards (as it were) to new adventures. I’m now packing for my 2nd away date in as many months and am so excited to visit one of my all time favourite places – the beautiful island of Mallorca. How I love this place! They have some of the most romantic and gorgeous resorts. My favourite island in Europe and a beautiful country where seemingly infinite sunshine, good food, and luxurious surroundings reside. Longer dates are such a pleasure, with a good plan and great company these become life-long memories. With restaurants finally back in London, it has been a pleasure to reacquaint myself with the pleasure of conversation and flirtation over dinner. Yum!
Things are all well on planet Billie. A project I started as a folly has taken off, so I’m now splitting my spare time between being your adoring girlfriend and working as a writer. It’s taking a while to adjust as it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day, and I’m somewhat out of the practice of writing regularly. Writing is a use it or lose it skill – 4 years ago I could turn out a truly impressive amount of work – pages and pages of creative writing per day, so I’m trying to get back to that. At that point I didn’t own a TV and didn’t have any social media, and I’ve noticed that since getting these things (somewhat predictably) my productivity has gone down, so I’m just trying to get the balance right between being an international bad girl, this project, and my leisure time. I’ve sadly had no time for golf, but of course I’m still at the gym at 7am like a mad woman and cooking away as I find cooking and sharing my food very therapeutic.
I was lucky enough to enjoy a sunny day at the beach (Chichester – West Wittering a lovely beach with fine sand and a lot of burnt people! Luckily I come ready-tanned so I don’t burn- I just become even more deliciously chocolatey than before) before the storm came. Such a funny trip with my girlfriend – we are such London ladies we arrived at Chichester Station with our Panama hats and sun dresses on, expecting to get an uber to the beach, and soon realised the conveniences of London begin declining rapidly the moment you get outside the M25. 40 mins and a long walk later, we somehow managed to get to the beach. I miss beaches! I’m definitely made for sunshine. I’ve got horrendous taste in cocktails (Pina Colada, Tequila Sunrise – I know not very sophisticated and enough sugar to turn you diabetic… but so delicious!) I like my big cold cocktail, beach bag with 1000 things in it (I don’t know how but its always full!), a good book (I’ve got a Kindle, which I’ll try and use for the first time as I much prefer print but I realise in buying new books I’m probably not helping the planet (she says – about to take a gas guzzling flight to Spain – I know, I know. Still, nobody is perfect, I’m doing my best…), also some nice big sunglasses and a sexy bikini. I have two distinct looks for the beach: One is Bond Girl, the other is Playboy Bunny – just depends on my mood/ location/ my company. Do I go for the jet black designer swimsuit with the big sun hat and dark glasses? Or the teeny sparkly pink bikini that’s almost invisible from the back. It’s your choice of course! I enjoy both!
Now I’ve grabbed your attention with the thought of me in a bikini, dare I talk about politics? What are we thinking? I have the following 5 questions.
1. When is this nightmare of lockdown going to end?
2. When are interest rates going to go up?
3. How long are we going to be paying for all this furlough/ eat out to help out/ sabotage of our own economy?
4. Boris being incompetent is a given. But who shall replace him?
5. Now we’ve left the EU, will the cost of champagne go up and will one of you please marry me so I can get an EU passport? (I’m joking obviously… unless you want to 🤣)
BONUS QUESTION: Is this cryptocurrency thing here to stay?
Okay so I’m not exactly Jeremy Paxman (speaking of which – I wonder what he’s up to I haven’t seen him on TV in a long time. Jeremy if you’re reading this I’ve always fancied you let’s go to Capri where we can drink aperol spritz and talk about life). Anyway… I feel there is a nonsensical, hypocritical whif hanging round this whole lockdown. The G7 can swan around a “garden BBQ” hugging and feasting on suckling pig and single malt. Large sporting events can still take place, and yet… I can’t go on a short haul holiday even if I’m vaccinated. Those of us blessed with the gift of common sense know a con when we see one. I fully believe these events should take place, I just believe we should all enjoy the same freedoms, not one rule for some and another for others. I acknowledge that I’m massively fortunate to still be travelling – I’m a free spirit – I’m grateful to meet people who share my passions. I like to have adventures, to enjoy the best of life and luxury – I shall not be told by anyone that I must stay put*
*Well, I confess when the mood takes me I’m quite into being tied up and held down, but I digress…
As for crypto. It’s a tricky one because I know an equal amount of people who think it’s the next biggest thing, as I do people who won’t go anywhere near it. There are areas of my life where I enjoy large amounts of risk. I love excitement, a gamble (you’re speaking to a woman who once jumped in the back of a moving truck (the driver didn’t notice) in the middle of France with intentions of jumping off whenever it ended up. My stint as a parasitic hitch hiker was of course fantastically risky experience, and yes, I enjoy elements of living on “the edge”). But I suppose my life savings are not one of those areas! I don’t like the idea that if Elon Musk is having a bad day and decides to mouth off on Twitter, the value of the currency in your wallet can go down. I am sure he deliberately says certain things to rig the market. I think as high profile vocal individuals invest heavily in these things, we must ask ourselves do we trust these people more than our governments (who we can at least decide to remove through elections). What I mean is: Boris would never for example go on the news and say something he knew would crash the value of the £, then buy a lot of £ at the new lower value, then say something something could inflate the £, and sell it at a high. Not only would he not do this – but in real terms it’s impossible impossible do (and illegal, and even if it were legal, everybody would vote him out at the first opportunity. In modern democracies it’s now easier to oust our leaders, than it is to get rid of the “entrepreneur” who has a complete monopoly on goods and services we need daily. So who is really in charge?
Yes, it’s a “Free market” and we “Vote with our feet” but what is the real alternative to Google or Amazon in today’s world? For the researcher who needs quick access to thousands of studies worldwide, what is life without Google? To the disabled individual who needs good delivered to their door, what is life without Amazon? Even the most efficient process of searching for an alternative, involves Google. I’m not worried as I hope to be retired in the Bahamas by the time it all kicks off, but something about all this doesn’t “feel” right. Companies like Amazon and Google particular, are dangerously close to being essential services. If Google, and their affiliated companies disappeared overnight, large parts of the world would come to a standstill. For this reason, I doubt if it came to it, governments would allow these companies to fail because of the magnitude of employment and convenience (although conveniently for them, not tax) they provide). Billie! I hear you exclaim. You are becoming more liberal! No, I wouldn’t say so… just using my brain more. Is it really a free market if a company has a monopoly and is so big and powerful that your tax money would almost definitely be used to save it should it collapse. Why their company and not yours? Because the smaller companies are rarely saved, and larger ones usually are, this further compounds the monopoly. And I know, collapse seems unlikely… but as I walk past a derelict 100,000 square foot retail unit (formerly known as Topshop) I’m reminded that nothing lasts forever.
However, there is nothing to stop private individuals exercising their “free speech” in a way that manipulates the market to their advantage. I don’t particularly like Elon Musk (of all the big players he’s my least favourite, Jeff Bezos is of course by far the best one. Jeff, if you’re reading this, you’ll be pleased to know if you order me before 2pm I can arrive the same day) and I don’t really trust the man not to do something reckless because unfortunately the thing about people who enjoy disrupting markets is that they rarely limit this habit to behaviours that directly benefit you. Musk said Tesla would accept Bitcoin- which was a great confidence boost for that market. Then 2 weeks later he decides Tesla will no longer accept Bitcoin- causing a 15% crash in B.Coin value. I mean really? This is supposed to be a viable currency? I appreciate that inflation and so on are a sticking point with traditional currencies (funny story a gentleman I know asked me if I know why a £ was called a Pound and I replied (correctly) that it was because a Pound, used to be a literal pound in weight of gold. He told me no one in his investment team had known the answer to this question, and I (correctly) replied that this is why women should rule the world. Anyway, my point is, if you compare what it initially was, to the value of a pound of gold now, it’s clear to see how inflated the pound has become, so sure, traditional currencies have their faults), but still. Can you imagine £100 in your bank becoming £85 overnight because one man made one inconsequential business decision? I’d rather spend the night at a casino, where at least the crippling weight of my own stupidity can be drowned out by copious glasses of ice cold champagne.
So anyway I have to get to the hairdressers and I’m sure you’ve had enough of me and my many opinions! Back to Billie in a bikini: I am only travelling with gentlemen who can cover my tests and quarantine on return. So if you would like 1-4 days let’s wait until things are a little more open. 5 days+ please get in touch, I am waiting for you 🙂 Life is busy for me at the moment so I am being very choosy. I’m sure you’re choosy too so – here’s to having the luxury of choice – life’s most precious commodity 🥂
Big kiss and hugs,
PS: Some of this blog is a joke. Hopefully you get it.