The Quarantine Boyfriend Questionnaire
Designed to reveal the hidden depths of your inner psyche (scientifically proven to be accurate)! Find out what type of quarantine boyfriend you are.
Please answer A, B or C, honestly:
1. It’s the first day of quarantine. You have prepared by:
A. Bulk buying all of your girlfriends favourite snacks and toiletries, and planning the evenings ahead to make sure you don’t get bored.
B. Making sure you’ve got plenty of champagne in the fridge, and that your Netflix subscription is up to date
C. Buying a 100 pack of condoms and gallon of baby oil, in preparation for a 3-week long sex fest. You’re sure your girlfriend will be very pleased!
2. Your Quarantine Girlfriend loves wearing:
A. Comfy loungewear or a onesie with slippers
B. Leggings and a crop top
C. High heels and nothing else!
3. During your outdoor exercise time, your girlfriend and you:
A. Go on a romantic couples jog together
B. Head to the park for an intense and sweaty HIIT session
C. Find a secluded spot for some wild and passionate outdoors sex
4. Your girlfriend wakes up in the middle of the night. She:
A. Needs a cuddle and reassurance that everything will be okay
B. Has just had a brainwave on how to solve the whole crisis
C. Is horny again! How irritating! This is the fourth time this night!
5. Your Quarantine girlfriends drink of choice during this time is:
A. Green tea
B. Vintage Champagne
6. You are queuing at the Supermarket. On your girlfriends shopping list is:
A. Pasta, Home and Garden Magazine, Jo Malone Candles
B. Sunday Newspaper, cheese board, playing cards
C. lube, lingerie, vibrator (essential items)
7. Your Quarantine Girlfriend is in the garden:
A. Tending to the flowers and her vegetable patch
B. Practicing her yoga
C. Flashing the neighbours
8. Your Girlfriend plans to make you feel better with her:
A. Loving and caring personality
B. Humour and wit
C. Exceptional deepthroat skills
9. It’s your birthday three weeks into quarantine. Your girlfriend surprises you with:
A. A home cooked roast dinner with all the trimmings and a freshly baked apple pie for dessert
B. A movie night, featuring your favourite film, favourite wine, and a takeaway from your favourite restaurant
10. You are planning a post-quarantine holiday. Your girlfriend would like:
A. To visit Rome, explore the monuments and have a tour of the Vatican
B. To spend a week chilling in Ibiza
C. An orgy
11. In the kitchen, your girlfriend:
A. Is a real talented cook – able to cook and bake everything and anything
B. Prefers to cook simple healthy food
C. Loves being bent over and showing you her “disappearing carrot” trick
12. By week 4, your girlfriend is probably
C. Gagging for it
13. The NHS needs volunteers. Your girlfriend
A. Signs up immediately as a carer for the elderly
B. Signs up immediately as a community leader
C. Arrives at the hospital in a naughty nurse outfit and stockings. Causes several heart attacks and gets sent home.
14. Your girlfriend has started complaining that she isn’t getting enough:
A. Cuddles and affection
B. Exercise and intellectual stimulation
C. Doggy and spankings
15. Your quarantine girlfriend has decided to use this time to learn
A. How to crochet
B. How to speak Mandarin
C. How to put her legs behind her head
You are a Quarantine Cute Boyfriend.
Congratulations on being a nice guy (yummy!). Your ideal quarantine girlfriend is thoughtful, caring and sweet. Although this situation isn’t ideal, you value intimacy and using this time to get to know your girlfriend. Report to Billie immediately for some cuddles and affection!
You are a Quarantine Cool Boyfriend.
You’re a chilled out guy, who enjoys the company of a smart and sassy girlfriend who keep you on your toes. This time with your girlfriend will be spent deep in conversation, enjoying good food and wine, and trying your best to get through things with good humour. Report to Billie immediately for the dinner date of your dreams!
You are a menace to society and should be self-isolating permanently, for the good of the nation.
Constantly horny and in need of some TLC, your dream quarantine girlfriend loves having her ass up and her mouth full! This quarantine has come as a great opportunity to get to know your girlfriends many sexy talents. Report to Billie immediately for the passionate date of your dreams!
Which Quarantine Boyfriend are you?!