First World Problems

Passport down to the last 2 pages and passport office is being run by people who seem to only have the vaguest concept of what efficiency is. Another Brexit ramification (now need 2 stamps for all EU countries so I’ve filled up half a passport in a year).
There should be a generic “stateless” EU passport or 1 year travel visa for those of us who want to opt in. I’d pay for it. I’m also running out of days I can travel because you can only spend 60/180 days there.
I know what the answer is, I just fear it may ruin me.
I must marry an EU man (a small ceremony in the Tuscan hills and honeymoon in Maldives), acquire a second passport, and run off before he’s had the chance to unearth my scam. Rebrand as “Bally Farloo”, and resume my travels.