Humble Grape

Humble Grape.Hello yummies! Finally getting stuck into my little Cellar Plan and enjoying learning a lot (do wine tastings count as “Personal Development”? haha). Anyway, if you did want to bring a gift I would most appreciate some good wines for my cellar. I currently only have 2 cases plus a few bits I’ve collected over the years (mostly champagnes and a couple old reds). Feeling a bit embarassed to have so little but hoping I’ll build up a small but lovely collection. By chance I made friends with a really amazing sommelier and wine buyer and she’s promised to take me to some tastings and events, which I’m really looking forwards to. I once said (after a few Champagnes) that I’d drink anything if it’s free – ha! πŸ˜‚Β  – and although that’s true (I do draw the line at tequila though, horrendous stuff), I would particularly like to add Burgundy, Mersault, Champagne, and Rioja to my cellar. Actually, ignore me, beggars can’t be chosers! If you have any extra bottles or something you think I may enjoy in the future, I would be greatful for your insight and your generosity – you will probably know better than me. One day I’d love to have my own wine cellar (I love those spiral ones you can get that do down into he floor) but until then I’ve found somewhere that can store my bottles. Alternatively, I’m building a small wishlist through Berry Bros, if you wanted a peek let me know and I’ll send it to you.Thank you for your contribution towards my journey into acute alcoholism wine collecting πŸ˜‚πŸ₯‚Here’s to us!Kiss,Billie xx

Piste and Love

Latest Mission: Verbier.


Dress Code: Sexy Ski Bunny/ No Makeup/ Big Smile

Outcome: Skied red slopes and didn’t die (successful).

Next mission: You Decide.

Please Don’t Waste Your Life

(First Draft.)

Please Don’t Waste Your Life.


To waste one’s life is a cardinal sinTo do withoutIs a curse withinTo hoard your dreams is aHorrible thingPlease don’t waste your life.Living to labour is a losing gameNeglecting your leisure?A bothersome painBoredom and apathyAddle the brainPlease don’t waste your life.Pride is a poison that takes you by stealthSo remember this remedy:Laugh at yourself.On your mission for wisdom and womenAnd wealthPlease don’t waste your life.A ladle full ofSin and spiceCan much improve the soup of lifeA spoon of safetyWon’t sufficePlease don’t waste your life.When you reach for a breathAnd instead you find noneAnd it’s you and aNurseOr a hearseOr a gunIn the end you will only haveWhat you have done.


Please don’t waste your life.


Catch – Kill – Eat

Woke up bright and early to collect some live langoustine I had ordered in at my favourite fishmongers. Scotland’s finest! And one of my favourite things to cook – I would only ever buy them live as they are incredibly fresh and cooked moments after I have dispatched them. People are always surprised to find out I am not squeamish about such things, but if you remember I completed a short butchery course last year but even before then I have always been comfortable with this part of cooking. Although I am quite sure I am the first woman to complete a butchery course with French Manicure! Grilled the Langoustine simply with confit garlic butter, then served with a home made wild garlic mayonnaise. So delicious – these were very big with delicate sweet tail meat. Perfect with a glass of rosΓ©. No I will not cook it for you take me to dinner instead πŸ™‚

March Update

Hi Yummies!Writing this on a cold Sunday afternoon, the end to a hectic but lovely week. One of the highlights was definitely a delicious and creative Japanese Omakase tasting menu in Fitzrovia. I love Japanese food and it was a spectacular experience (I even enjoyed the sake, which I usually don’t). I also had another dinner at an Israeli restaurant – such a joyful cuisine (lots of bread and sharing – my type of food! I’ve wanted to go to Tel Aviv for the longest time to experience the cusine). I also (phew) managed to finally dine at Le Gavroche – a restaurant that has been on my bucket list for so many years (one of those ones you never get around to because there’s always something cooler or more interesting on the list). Anyway, I found the experience to be a bit of a let down! It’s probably one of those lessons about what happens when you leave things too long before getting round to them. So much anticipation, a girlfriend and I booked weeks in advance – only to leave wishing we’d stopped by Barrafina instead. I wonder if these restaurants will still exist in 50 years time; Le Gavroche seemed extremely tired (I love classic restaurants but this I felt was more stale than old school, and the service was very much on the “looking down on you” side). Onwards and upwards I guess – I’ll update my restaurant list soon as I’ve ticked off so many (with your help!) but have also added lots to the list. Since starting this blog I’ve also enjoyed Rules (Londons oldest restaurant, excellent for traditional British fare. Very grateful for this experience as I love this type of restaurant) and also Sketch (the 3* upstairs restaurant). Pierre Gagnaire is one of my favourite chefs and was actually cooking there and came over to say hello. In terrible, shaky French and with sweaty palms I told him how much I loved his restaurant in Paris and what an amazing chef I thought he was – I’m not sure if he understood a word I was saying but he seemed rather charmed regardless. I’ve a general rule that the best way of communicating is to open your mouth – either to smile, talk, or… πŸ˜‰The latter would have been somewhat inappropriate – albeit rather thrilling – in a fine dining restaurant, so I made do with the other two.We are finally nearing Spring, my favourite season: the beginning of strappy sandals and outdoor dining, City breaks in the med and short summer dresses. The season of crab salads, warm evenings and optimism. In times like these optimism seems like it shouldn’t be possible, but if you know me you know despite the fact that I always always try to look to the future with optimism. I’m a firm believer of accepting the things you cannot change, but also that for the most part, things always work themselves out. Not wasting too much time stressing over other people’s decisions leaves a lot more head space for changing the things you actually have control over. I think a lot of people enjoy a feeling of control and I’d say for whatever reason I’m not one of those people. To the contrary I find more pleasure in giving up control! Its a complicated space being a woman who is outgoing(ish) but who also has submissive tendencies. Firstly, men won’t approach you because they are terrified. I think for some reason people judge (from looking) that I will be a stuck up person, or not veey frieny. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a big heart and inside I’m just as uncertain as everyone else but people can’t see past appearances. How can I be intimidating? I’m 5ft 4 woman who enjoys cuddles, true crime documentaries, champagne, and shower sex (in that order!) I can’t remember where I was going with this… I suppose I was saying you can’t judge a book by its cover. The visually confident woman can also be the submissive woman (and often is!) The small effort can be appreciated greatly (and always is!) From the outside you can only see one face of somebody, or a situation, so it’s well worth diving in if you want to truly explore parts of a person, and of yourself, that you can’t see.So anyway, here I am walking through life with my stilettos on and one eye on The News (honestly one of my favourite indulgences on holiday is simply not checking the news, which these days seems to consist entirely of telling us all that the world will be ending soon in one way or another – my money is on Putins own people getting rid of him then climate change getting rid of us all. I’m deciding not to linger for too long on either of these subjects not because I’m flippant or dont have opinions, but because this blog is a positive outlet). Yes I’ve managed to squeeze some more travels in – travel is one of my favourite passtimes. I find it hard to pick my favourite places because for one, I’ve never been to a city I don’t like and for two, I love variety and am no sooner lugging my Rimowa suitcase out of Heathrow (always over the weight limit), than I am thinking of where next I’d love to travel to. Travel is an area of life where one must be a true slut: the best way to travel is to enjoy it as often and with as much variety as you possibly can. Travel in a romantic context is an entirely different genre from all other travel. Waking up in a new city with someone you have chemistry with and really fancy, morning sex then continental breakfast, cannot be compared to travel with friends or with people who you secretly don’t like that much. It’s to easy to write: stop doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t want to do them with, and start doing the things you want to do with people you want to do them with. And yet, many times I’ve seen people eating in silence in a restaurant, palpably miserable in each others company. Not me! Life is about enjoyment and indulgence. John Ruskin once said “Labour without joy is base” and I quite agree.But anyway, after a week or so of floundering, I’m finally managing to get truly stuck into Les Mis, one of the most beautifully written books I’ve had the pleasure of reading. It’s one of those books which is physically imposing, but once you dive in, it’s incredibly gripping (another case of why you shouldnt judge a book by its cover – literally!). I’m about a third of the way through, and the other day I physically couldn’t put it down. I’ve not felt that way about a book in a long time. Having watched the musical I think in some ways knowing how it all ends makes the book more compelling. It’s like watching a murder mystery where you already know who did it but the true entertainment lies in how the director puts together the story. There are sections of writing that are so beautifully written that they genuinely made my heart beat faster. Writing is like music – there are only so many words in the same way there are only so many notes, and yet the gift some people have to put together words is something I’m in awe of. As a writer myself, I can’t help but feel almost jealous when reading books like this. What a talent! Difficult to carve out as much time as I’d wish to read but I’m trying to keep my brain as exercised as the rest of me!What else is new? Here, I had actually written out a moan about how this year for the 4th year running I hadn’t managed to go skiing (by which I mean hadn’t been invited skiing). I don’t believe in “manifestation” (or maybe I do but I’m old school and I call it “hard work and discipline” πŸ˜‚), but anyway so glad to just accept a ski invite for the end of the month. Trying (failing) to resist buying one of those sexy-ski-bunny one piece ski suits (I already have one but I’d like something new). Now to book a couple indoor ski lessons as the last time I went skiing you may remember I ended up having to get rescued. Traveling through France post-Brexit as an English person who’s French mostly stretches to names of foods and dirty talk is embarassing enough, I don’t need to add being a feeble skiier to the list of humiliations. It’s always exciting to travel to new places with an open mind and for me these adventures are the difference between living and dying. The mountains are of course very romantic – if you’ve never had sex on the floor next to an open fire you’re missing out (note to reader – most of my hair products read HIGHLY FLAMMABLE so don’t throw me around too much πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‚).Oops writing forever again – I sure you’ve got much better things to do than read my ramblings! I’m in London for the next few weeks so would be lovely to meet and/or catch up.See you soon,Kisses and licks!Billie ❀xx

Vinyl Love ii

For the size of my record collection (small) I would say my choices are extremely varied. Not many collections include Stormzy, Sinatra, and the Rolling Stones. My collection fits mostly into the following categories:80’s, Jazz, Soul, Funk, Hip hop, Rock, ClassicalUnder jazz you have everything from rat pack to smooth instrumentals, big bands to solo acoustics. Under instrumentals you have everything from Miles Davis to the soundtracks of many of my favourite films. Under Miles Davis you have rare live recordings to compilations of his favourite works and so on, and so on as the collection sprawls in various random directions. I thought I’d share with you some more of my favourites:

The Smiths – I started Something I Couldn’t Finish. Prince – Cream. Sade – Diamond Life.


Miles Davis – Kind of Blue. Wham – Club Tropicana. James Brown – Showtime.


Dean Martin – Only Forever. Eric Clapton – Eric Clapton. Stormzy – Gang Signs and Prayers.

Dizzy Gillespie – Concert of the Century. 2Pac – Greatest Hits. Pink Floyd – The Dark Side of the Moon.


Chet Baker – In Milan. Funkadelic – One Nation Under a Groove. Eurythmics – Touch.


Bobby Womack – The Poet. Jamiroqai – Travelling Without Moving. Rolling Stones – Hot Rocks

Eat Stars

Enjoyed a long lunch with friends at a restaurant I’ve wanted to try for so long. If you know me you know I’m massively into food and dining, so a real joy to tick off a Bucket List restaurant that created such an amazing dining experience. Do get in touch if this is a shared interest – let’s do dinner! xxxx B

Interview: Bedroom Edition

Morning or evening?

I’m definitely a morning person.Doggy or Cowgirl?DoggyCowgirl or missionary?Hmmm… missionaryMissionary or doggy?Sensual mood = missionarySlutty mood = doggyRoleplay French Maid or Naughty Nurse?MaidTurn ons:Usually a type of person and how they make me feel rather than specific things. Somebody who makes me laugh or is very assertive. Type who is gentlemanly outside of the bedroom. Smells nice and we have natural chemistry going with the flow. I like being groped, receiving compliments, deep kissing, a lot of passion and connection.Vibrator or fingers:Your fingers > My vibratorMy vibrator > My fingersFavorite toy:Lelo Smart WandAfter sex:Massage, foot rub, bum rub, long cuddles, dinner… a nap? hahaBDSM:I think I grew out of it. I don’t really care about this anymore. I do have a submissive side to my sexuality but this is more about me being a giving person who loves to please, than about conforming to any specific rules. I do have a lot of fetish style outfits (leather, latex, shiny etc) because I think they can be very sexy.Orgasms:I find it very easy to have orgasms/multiple orgasm from penetration. Especially in missionary with kissing.Watch or be watched:Be watchedFantasies:I suppose I am living my fantasyPorn?I rarely rarely watch it, only when extremely horny after a long while of no intimacy. Usually I just prefer to use my imagination. When I watch porn usually I watch multiple guys + 1 girl. Usually I prefer to watch other black/ebony girls.Favourite sensual things:Massage, shower or bath together, neck kissed, spooning, foot rub, cuddle, slow kissing.Kinks:Mostly rough sex, rough blowjob, and being choked.Favourite roleplay:Secretary/PABlindfold or handcuffs?HandcuffsDo you like girls?I’m only really interested in men sexually. I enjoy male company, and… cock πŸ˜‡Lingerie:Yes, I love to dress up.Are you horny every day?Usually yes. I have a very sexual brain ‘ I’m not “sex crazy” or anything like that. But I enjoy physical intimacy and I do get horny a lot (like now writing this blog!)Oral sex:Usually enjoy more to give than receive. Like rimming as well (both ways)Do you enjoy foreplay?Yes, a lot especially kissing. I love being grabbed and kissed. I can enjoy sensual foreplay for a very long time beforehand, I love to tease and be teased. That said, if I’m around someone I have chemistry with and I’m feeling very horny sometimes I like to have passionate sex very quickly/immediately. This can be a big turn on for me. Just depends on mood and situation.Anal:No. I have some small toys but other than that I don’t really see the appeal (I see the appeal for you, but not for me πŸ˜‚)Spanking:Yes I like it but nothing too hard. My favourite is short skirt and stockings and suspenders and having my skirt lifted for a spank.Random things you enjoy?Being bitten, hairy guys, sex on the floor, in front of mirror, having toes sucked, fingers in my mouth.How would you describe good sex?Natural chemistry, feeling comfortable and without any pressures. Enjoying the moment and the person you’re with without thinking about anything else. Stress relief! Good sex is when afterwards you feel even more attracted to the person than before. We are both feeling appreciated and satisfied.

B x

Mercedes R129: One to Watch.

First of all I’ll start by apologising. I’m apologising because I’m about to define a late 80’s- early 90’s car as a “classic” and I’m well aware it may make some readers feel a little old, but as someone born in the 90’s. I feel your pain… It happens to us all eventually and now it’s finally happening to me. There is nothing more sobering than a car from the year you were born being referred to as a “classic”, but we are where we are.The classic car market of course is more or less totally dictated by men who after some time can afford to buy the cars they aspired to have when they were teenagers, by which time those cars have become “classic” and are far less available. It’s therefore one of the most easy to predict markets there is (although I think it will start becoming less predictable over time as there are now so very many cars in the market, which means far less “it” cars). But I digress, let’s talk about my new favourite classic but let’s call it a “modern classic” so I don’t feel old πŸ˜‚The Mercedes R129 SL is something I’ve just started to see grace the streets of West London a little more often recently. It’s very hard to find cars that are cool, but don’t make you look like a wanker (anyone in a Jaguar E type looks like a wanker, anyone in a vintage Aston IS a wanker, I don’t make the rules, it’s science). The thing about a well preserved 80s-90s car is that on the wanker-cool matrix, these cars lean heavily in favour to being very very cool. And that’s because this was a time when what it meant to be cool was changing. In came new beauty standards in the car industry – a car didn’t have to be curvy and wooden inside to be cool, she cool be angular and slick, she could look like with the press of a button she could fly to the moon. Cars before wore tweed suits and brogues, but the 90s car was something different, these cars wore sunglasses and leather jackets. The difference between a pre 70’s car and a post 80’s car is the difference between making love and having a fantastic shag. In an ideal world one does not have to choose of course (big smile). But I’m a 90’s baby and if I MUST choose, I’m picking the shag (forgive me!). I saw at a car show 2 years ago a SERIOUSLY well preserved ’89 SL that made my heart beat so fast it was so beautiful, a dark purple aubergine colour (iconic colour of the time), everyone gathered around to look at it and talk about engines (as is very common at car shows. I have been to maybe 50 car shows and they’re all the same – once the engine is on full display the men stand around staring at it, sometimes not talking. I have seen men stare at engines with such a sense of arousal and desire that I’ve felt the sudden urge to become an engine myself!). On this occasion it was a hot summers day and I was in a pair of denim shorts so small you needed to squint to see them, and despite this, mine was the second most appreciated backside at the car show after this beautiful SL. Outrageous!Some Good Things About the ’89-’97 SL:1. Not crazily priced (yet), in fact, affordable. I’ve had a quick look and they’re broadly speaking about the same price as my Mini Cooper! But will creep steadily up in value in a way my mini could only dream of. In 15 years time people who were born in the 90s will be in their 40’s, and I believe at that point the value of these will boom.2. You will not need to sell a kidney to find the price of spares or restoration. The colours of that era for this car are black and red – no tricky mustard or bluey grey tones to contend with, although I admit that dark purple is gorgeous. There’s a lot less wood involved in the interior, and for obvious reasons the availability of any part that’s 30 years old is going to be greater than those 50 year old parts you have to find when restoring a 70’s SL.3. Billie will think you are the coolest man alive and ride your cock accordingly.4. Despite it being more modern it has the hallmarks of a true icon. Bruno Sacco, who designed 6 Mercedes from the mid 70’s to late 90’s describes it as β€œthe most perfect car of my career”. And also, there were 35,000 less sold than the previous R107 model, yet despite this, more sold per year. This makes it, in numerical terms, a car that was very desirable, yet simultaneously, less were built. These 2 things, plus the designers endorsement, and the fact that it was one of Princess Diana’s favourite sports cars, makes for a car that I believe in approx 10 -15 years time (if good condition, low mileage etc) will be not only exceptionally cool to own, but also a fantastic investment.5. The car equivalent of a person who’s both attractive but also… actually a nice person. This is a good looking car. Those lines! That design that embodies so much of what that time was about and says “I’m a car of the future”. But it’s also an extremely reliable car. Something 1993-’97 probably offers the best combo of looks and build. Classic cars are like people: some smell funny (I can’t stand classic car smell), some are life companions, some are on the constant verge of a breakdown, some never stop whining. This car is such a good all rounder. I can probably count on one hand the amount of cars you can take to Waitrose (looking cool and not like a wanker) but you can also bomb round the south of France in (still looking cool and not like a wanker). This is one – a Swiss army knife of a vehicle!(I do feel that reason #3 should probably be enough, even if you hate the car πŸ˜‚)That’s the end of my unsolicited rant about the R129… This car will return to greatness – don’t say I didn’t warn you!Love,Billie x