Updates

(long read)


Hi Yummies!

I hope you are well and enjoying the sunshine. Rumour has it that if you turn your central heating on full blast, strip down to your shorts, and sip an ice cold glass of champagne with your eyes closed, you can just about convincingly imagine you’re in the south of France. Speaking of which, I am getting itchy feet – this now being the longest running period of time I’ve spent in the UK since I was 18. Yes, I know in the schemes of natural and manmade disaster, world pandemic, civil uprising, and the fear of a second wave (and the associated mini-disasters: no sex, no toilet roll etc), not travelling does seem very much like a first world problem but… I’m a first world woman so there’s not much I can do about that. Although life is slowly getting back to as normal as it can be, I desperately miss the romantic weekends and luxurious weeks I would spend as a travel companion, and the more natural relaxed dynamic this brings, as well as of course exploring the peoples, art, cuisines, and pleasures of other countries. I’ve started to get a pang of almost-jealousy when watching those food-travel shows where Rick Stein or Anthony Bourdain stroll through San Sebastien, or Istanbul, or Paris, enjoying the very best of fine and simple food.


Have been enjoying some delicious and varied lunch and dinner dates recently and it’s been a lot of fun. Have ticked off a few “bucket list” restaurants thanks to the efforts of some thoughtful and generous gentlemen. Oh the joy of not having to cook! Of course, I love cooking, but months into lockdown even I was losing the will to be chopping tomatoes and peeling garlic on a daily basis. With every corner I turn there’s a new restaurant I would like to try – this is one of the tings I love the most about living in town. I walk down Charlotte Street and think -I want to try every single one of these. There was a time about 3-4 years ago where I would do fine dining at least twice a week every week. It was silly really – a sort of… status thing, the way some people think they must always wear lots of jewellery. I thought, you surely haven’t made it through life unless you’ve eaten your age in Michelin stars every year. It became a big blur of tasting menus and amuse bouches, and many of these restaurants I barely remember. It was a good lesson in the perils of excess, and in learning to savour special things.


A while ago there was an article in the Spectator (perhaps by Taki?), which said, if a cheese is good, you only need a tiny piece of it. I remember scoffing to myself at the time, but with reflection it seems true to me. As I broadened my dining experiences, I realised I don’t need a super-fine dining experience every day. I love these things – everything from getting dressed up in a beautiful outfit and picking complimentary heels and fragrance, to that magical moment where we are seated, perhaps sipping on some lovely champagne, and looking through the menu (I never ever look at a menu before I eat at the restaurant, as I love surprises, no matter how small). As someone who really enjoys cooking, I get pleasure even from the menu – how the chef has paired the flavours, how the sommelier pairs the wine, and so on. I am a magpie for detail – I always notice beautiful silverware, heavy salt and pepper mills, I love the crisp white napkin placed on my lap by a reassuringly French waiter. Warm bread to start (try to resist but normally can’t), cheese trolleys, are beautiful delicate fine plates of food. Yes! I love this experience! This is the part of me that loves classic and traditional things. I don’t like to haggle with quality – I enjoy fine dining experiences which simply do not compromise.

But I can’t do this all the time.



I need gastropub, tapas, something creative or modern, menus that change daily, open kitchens, heavily tattooed chefs who will under no circumstances accommodate “special dietary requirements”. Enjoying and experiencing these restaurants are a gift my clients have given me, and add some much needed balance. Last week, a Sunday lunch at The Thomas Cubitt and a beautiful dinner at 50 Cheyenne were exactly what I needed – food that is excellent, but honest and not trying too hard. I am also in LOVE with Meraki, a Greek restaurant near me, with a great bar and such delicious food. Event the tomato salad – these are the most delicious, sweet, tasty tomatoes you have ever had! Needing an Asian fix later in the week, a girlfriend and I had a fantastic evening at Roka. I know it’s the most predictable ever but I LOVE the black cod and the shrimp tempura. And the lamb chops. Haha! I also read that Le Caprice was closing down. I really regret having only dined there twice – it’s one of those restaurants that you forget about because it’s so tucked away. Well anyway, I noticed directly opposite Zuma it appears to be re-opening, so definitely one I would like to try in the future.


When will she stop talking about food and tell me a sexy story, I hear you ask.


I’m working on a sexy fantasy that I will hopefully post late next week. I have to be in a particular mood to write erotica, so, like so many of life’s best things, it happens spontaneously when it happens. I have however finally decided (with many encouraging nudges from friends and dates) decided to finally pursue my cooking and food writing in a more meaningful way. Even writing this is giving me a knot in my stomach as I have massive fear of failure, but it’s something I really enjoy and think I maybe have a talent for. Don’t worry, I shall remember you all when I have my own BBC cooking show where I pretend to be demure and wholesome. And of course I am cooking a lot, as ever, but as I’m back to eating out frequently, it’s a lot more salads and light meals than before, although I did cook poussin for the first time (they said it was poussin, I’m not so sure as it really was a TINY bird). On my course at Le Cordon Bleu, they taught us how to prepare it, so I managed to cook the poussin to perfection and it was very delicious.

I think I have in the last few months watched every (worthwhile) documentary known to man. Just finished watching the 3-Part “Once Upon a Time in Iraq” on the BBC which I thought was excellent. Sometimes you watch this type of documentary and almost feel embarrassed about how comfortable your life is – through accident of birth we are so lucky to live here in the UK and have the freedoms we have. When you watch documentaries – particularly about war, it really puts into perspective how if you’ve been blessed with a fortunate life, it’s your duty to appreciate and enjoy every moment you can.


I’m also really enjoying my book “21 Lessons…” By Yuval Noah Harari. This is a must read for everyone! He is so clever and insightful. His thoughts on the future, and how technology and biology will combine, on how data and algorithms will become the most important things in our lives, and on how society and class will be shaped by these things… really he is so intelligent the book is excellent so far. Once technology knows you better than you know yourself (which is really not that difficult) “Google” could be the one telling you which job or University you should go for, which companion you should pick, what holiday would suit you best and so on. We may say to ourselves “oh but I would never trust a computer to make these decisions”, but Harari proposes that we already do. Whether it’s the exchange rate, the weather, or what year WW1 ended, on a daily basis we ask Google questions and trust the first answer it gives us. Once humans are connected to the right technology, they will know us better than they know ourselves because they will know our subconscious.


Harari’s suggestion is once technology and biology are fused together, those who can afford it will be able to buy themselves massive advantages – internal technologies that will essentially make them live considerably longer healthier lives. They will be able to pay to have their children genetically engineered to be attractive, tall, intelligent, modest, athletic, or whatever traits they desire. This will create a larger gap between those who can afford this and who can’t, leading to two (or multiple) species of humans – the upgraded tech-driven humans on top, and then everyone else below them. Those on the bottom will have no jobs (all jobs will be automated – other than mine of course haha!) and a massive chasm of inequality will open up. I read in a different book that no one can ever accurately predict the future because the prediction itself, changes the course of the future, but his thoughts are very interesting.


So anyway, I’m back at the gym and it’s a weird experience. Sanitizer wipes everywhere! I think whoever owns the Hand Sanitizer factory has had a very good year! Other than that, it’s quiet, which I prefer anyway and I’m happy to be back, but will definitely be keeping up with the outdoor workouts and running. So funny a few days ago I was doing a boxing workout in the park with a PT I met there, and people were stopping on the path to watch me(!) It’s only my third time trying it but it’s such a good workout. I also had a full body scan where they essentially give you a 2 page MOT of everything wrong with you – or so I thought! To my surprise every single one of my physical stats is in the perfect range for my height, age etc, and the machine which usually give you pointers on what areas to work on, believes I have nothing to work on at all. I do enjoy working out, but of course enjoy my food too so wasn’t expecting such good results – with my fat % on the middle to lower end of “normal”, and my lean muscle % on the middle to higher end of “normal”. I’ve finally managed to tackle my shin splints, with a combination of compression socks, and running/skipping on grass instead of harder surfaces. I still have further goals to be exactly where I want to be physically, but it’s good to see I’m on the right track. I think like most women, I can sometimes feel self-conscious about too big or too small or too something else, so for the way my brain works, numbers are very helpful as they are objective.


I’ve FINALLY set up my record player, an embarrassing 2 years after one of my favourite people bought it for me. I originally wanted some beautiful, big vintage speakers (I still do) but became paralysed with choice, so have temporarily bought some smaller entry level ones until I decided which ones I want to have “forever”. Vinyl is such a sexy, gorgeous music format. Everything from Sinatra to Sade, Bob Marley to the Beatles, Mick Jagger to Motown… it all just sounds so good. It’s funny (or perhaps depressing) the older you get the more you start pining for things you once had. Okay, I’m not even 30 yet! But still, I remember the sound system I grew up to, one of those old school silver 80’s-90’s ones (we couldn’t afford the SONY one so ours was by (ahem) “AIWA” – if that’s still a thing), 4 units stacked on top of each other with dials and nobs everywhere for extra bass, or treble. Like most people, we threw ours out with the advent of MP3, but its something I would like to revisit sometime in the future.


Speaking of Billies most wanted, I have added some things to my Net-a-Porter Wishlist if you felt like spoiling your favourite companion: https://www.net-a-porter.com/wishlist/5804ae6fe4b04659eb8ac4f1 😊 I’ve picked out some timeless classy pieces which I would love to add to my wardrobe. I ended up giving a fond farewell to one of my favourite pairs of shoes on Wednesday, after a slightly hazy, but very glam night in Soho at Groucho. They were in fairness, a very old and very well loves paid of heels that I was given on one of my first ever trips to Rome (I love it there). I took them to a cobblers the next day, he handed them back to me and said “Beautiful shoe and it’s a real shame, but we can’t do miracles”. I love wearing sexy elegant heels! So nice to be back to some semblance of a social life – I started lockdown with good intention but by the end, I was pretty much living in a uniform of a big t shirt, silk pyjamas/negligee or a dressing gown!


Oops, I’ve been writing for ages – I have to dash – congratulations if you got to the end! Having a fun and sunny week so far and looking forward to this weekends plans. Can’t wait to see you soon for a catch up.


Big kiss!


Billie

Last Week in Photos

(From top left) Hedonism wines, a Bucket List restaurant, and a beautiful suite with terrace; My first time preparing and cooking poussin; Chilling in a Secret Garden with Rod Stewart; Golf girlfriend; My view after a 5K in Regants Park; Sunday roast in Chelsea; A delicious breakfast date and a new (brilliant) vinyl for my collection; Dinner and a spot of shopping at Selfridges; A nice outfit; A naughty outfit; A relaxing 8hr Sunday date: Sunday papers, chablis 1er, nibbles, vinyl to add to my collection.

New Romantic

I have a new date offering of a relaxed 8hrs @£1000, aimed at a gentleman who would like to spend a leisurely day mostly outside of the bedroom from lunch to dinner relaxing, laughing and having fun. Already I am enjoying this date so much! Really fun and relaxed experience – the magical day you deserve! Let’s do it 🙂

Lucky Old Tree

Finished a 5K run and found this gorgeous old tree. Although a city girl at heart, I love being in nature!

I’m a Leather not a Fighter

I love everything to do with leather. The look, the feel, the smell… both in my wardrobe and in the bedroom. I’ve spent years, lovingly amassing the most outrageous collection of quality goods. I love everything from quality leather shoes (Chelsea boots on men being a particular favourite), leather belts, watch straps, and wallets, to the beautiful patina on old leather furniture, the immaculately stitched interior of a luxury car, or the buttery soft leather of a driving glove. Leather bound books, and even a mans belt or washbag can catch my eye. I’m a tactile person and appreciate quality. I remember as a guest at Rolls Royce HQ, being shown how they pick out the leather for their cars – the tiniest of blemishes rendering that piece of leather useless. In my wardrobe, I have numerous leather leggings and skirts, jackets, gloves, and of course… I am partial to a handbag or two 😊

 

In the bedroom, I enjoy the BDSM aesthetic (amongst many others!). Dressing for sex is am erotic experience for me. Like strappy, minimal leather outfits, that leave little to the imagination whilst simultaneously making the imagination run wild. My favourite brand for this type of thing is Anoeses, who have made me several things in the past, including some of the outfits in my gallery. I love the feeling on my skin, it’s a beautiful, sensual fabric that has personality – it can be cold and stiff, or warm and soft. If you know me, you know I also absolutely adore leather boots. My favourite brand (Casadei) makes the most elegant, sexy heels (no zip, or elastic, just one long seamless boot with the most fine and sexy killer heel). Of course these can be worn in a very provocative way, but even with fitted jeans and a blouse they look amazing.  I love being in a nice bar, with my legs stretched over your lap in super high heeled boots and having my legs stroked through the leather. So sexy! I have also made some of my own leather pieces, which have been a labour of love – items that I have worked by hand and now no longer wear as I don’t want to ruin them.

 

I notice leather details everywhere I go – in Heckfield Place (my favourite country hotel), they have a cinema, where the seats are a gorgeous hand stitched tan leather and made by Ferrari. Sometimes when I get a new handbag I (possibly this is a bit strange!) enjoy smelling the new leather. I love interiors and in choosing the couch for my living space, spend months, searching some something vintage and very worn with a nice patina. Old upholstered furniture, that has gained softness and character with age, is a simple pleasure. Beautiful things for me, are things that exist in more than one dimension. Of course I enjoy things which are great to look at – but I also enjoy things that as well as being attractive, also smell good, are pleasant to touch, and are a joy to be in the presence of (a bit like me 😉!).

 

Here’s to a love for leather!

 

Billie x

Billie’s Kitchen

Cooking today –

My own recipe: Rack of lamb, marinated in rose harissa and orange blossom honey, minted couscous, tzatziki, heritage carrots, roasted onions. This was my first time cooking a full rack of lamb, so with no recipe to hand I had to judge the timing by eye and intuition. Pleased to say it was cooked to exactly right (just pink and very moist!) Normally when I finish trying a new recipe there is something I wish to change next time, but in today’s case I am very pleased – everything was perfectly cooked and perfectly balanced. This week I am cooking all recipes from my imagination, and am having a lot of fun plating everything beautifully and putting my dishes together.

Ortus

Sometimes a poem will come to me fully formed in my head, usually first thing in the morning, and feels more like a dictation of thought than an act of creativity. This one happened when I woke up this morning, just before by 6am alarm (waking up minuites before my alarm is my superpower, which admittedly, as far as superpowers go, is fairly useless). I reached for my phone (does anyone own a pen anymore?) and wrote this – the first draft. “Ortus” is Latin, for “Sunrise”.

Ortus

 

A hazy dream at 6:02
With memories hanging
Damp like dew
I had a moment
Sad and blue I

 

Thought about you this morning.

 

Of passionate kisses
Rough romance
Of meeting when we have the chance
Of heartbeats like a
Desperate dance I

 

Thought about you this morning.

 

The scent of your
Cologne and hair
The smells that lingered in the air
Time flew so fast it felt
Unfair I

 

Thought about you this morning.

 

Of groping hands
And steady pace
Of sex transcending time and space
Of conversation
Guilt
And grace I

 

Thought about you this morning.

 

You’d sit and smoke
And pour a whisky
Ponder life and
Try and kiss me.
‘Wonder if you even miss me

 

Thought about you this morning.

 

BF

 

Park Life

Making the most of the glorious weather! Love working out at the park and have recently added skipping to my workouts!

The gift of Glass

So happy with this thoughtful gift of my favourite champagne, some things for golf, and the Zalto wine glasses that I had been wanting for some time. The impossible force of my clumsiness, paired with the immovable object of fragility of these glasses means I shall definitely be keeping them for special occasions only (you only have to look at them too strongly and they shatter!). As you may know, I adore beautiful glassware – both fine glass and crystal. Zalto is the epitome of my own philosophy – a small brand, doing only what they know they can do excellently, at the highest possible quality… I shall very much enjoy drinking out of these! 

What’s your flavour?

Going through my wardrobe in preparation for some lovely upcoming lunch and dinner dates (please excuse messy room/shabby appearance, even Billie has a day off sometimes!)

 

Anyway, I love this new dress – its in a linen fabric and so cute and flattering with nice heels! But then also love these trousers which I had tailored for me to get the perfect fit. What style do you prefer? I love dressing up and always take (sensible!) input from you into consideration for our lunch or dinner dates. Can’t wait!

 

B xxx

Live Performances I Love.

You sort of know before she opens her mouth that this is going to be good. The band is reassuringly big, the set is reassuringly simple, and by the time you reach 3:10, you’re telling yourself you definitely won’t be attempting this one in the shower! Not many artists have the vocal range to fuse soul and opera, and make it look easy, even adding wordless humor into her performance. Many vocalists of this ilk lose their voice after time, but Jill is one of my favourites for having retained her power. When you watch an artist perform a love song, they wrote themselves, perform with soul, and grace and control, it’s something very special.

Navigating my way through the complicated highs and lows of love and life, I relate a lot to Stevie Nicks, and have always loved Fleetwood Mac (I have a lot on vinyl). When I was a dancer, it was usual to have certain songs designated to you, and I used to strip to “Rhiannon” (a thrilling experience, twirling down a pole at 2am Stevies voice with a thong full of £50’s). Anyway, I love Stevie Nicks, even her solo music which is much less appreciated. Recordings like this are rare, and it’s a joy to be a fly on the wall observing such a talented artist. I am a very sensual person and love experiencing sensuality through art and music. When you understand what was happening within the band (Stevie falling in and out of love with one member, then in love with another – and everyones writing songs about it which they all have to perform together – awkward!) you understand her songwriting and how she is using her music to express life as a creative free spirited woman. 

If an alien were to land on earth, abduct me (don’t worry, this isn’t the beginnings of a weird sex fantasy) and ask me “Billie, what is funk music?” I would show them this video. This is an even rarer video of a performance of the funk band Parliament, performing in Houston in the late 70s. I’ve never taken psychedelics but am assuming this is something like what you feel. You also see how wonderfully fluid music is as an art form – there are rock and disco influences, and visually if you squint your eyes there’s a glam rock aesthetic. Underneath what looks like effortless music is actually something very complicated and perfectly put together. It’s unashamedly funky and outrageous, the musical version of surrealism. Wish I had been there!

Arriving at this version of this song was a lengthy process. I was familiar with a fairly recent live version of Eleanor Rigby with Paul McCartney singing (and very feeble uninspiring guitar – no offence Paul) but backed by the most amazing string band. I absolutely ADORE the violin, and couldn’t help thinking “I wish Paul would shut up”, so decided to seek out a classical version without vocal. It’s a great piece of music in it’s own right so there are many classical recordings. This was my favourite for being clean and beautifully arranged. Too bad (I assume) the Proms won’t be happening this year as I would have loved to go! I also (this is just how the sillier half of my brain works) thought it was very amusing that each musician is sized in proportion to the size of their instrument.

On the list of artists no one should ever ever cover is Kate Bush. (sure I like the occasional spanking but I draw the line at trying to sing Kate Bush – I’m not a masochist). Why do it to yourself? Yet Maxwell somehow manages to improve the song (there, I said it!) What an absolutely gorgeously buttery voice. I don’t think anyone else could pull this off (okay, maybe Prince). I love soul and RandB music and what he brings to this song – he forces you to appreciate the lyrics (I’ve been a big fan of lyrics, ever since as an angst ridden teenager I discovered The Smiths). Anyway, the vocal speaks for itself, so soulful and beautiful.

Eat and Excite

Wow! A magical week of culinary delights! From fine French dining, to Persian Cuisine, from cocktails outside, to open kitchens. I love connecting with people who are as passionate about quality dining as I am.

“May you live in interesting times.”

There is said to be a Chinese curse which roughly (and humorously) translates to “May you live in interesting times.”

 

The origins of this quote are disputed, but the sentiment is very clear: nomatter where on the planet, or at what point in history, one thing most people have consistently hoped for, is a life of peace and stability. Well, unlike most, I have always lived in interesting times! And the idea of routine life, or predictable week fills me with dread. My “normal” is last minute flights where I end up running to the gate in strappy heels and a cocktail dress, dinners where I deliberately choose something on the menu that I’ve never heard of, waking up at 6am to get to the park for a workout I’ve devised the night before, or collapsing in a heap after a passionate time at a gorgeous hotel. Interesting times for me, are a blessing not a curse. Albeit I could never predict that “interesting times” in this era would translate to face masks, hand sanitizer, and quarantines, the paradox is these things are actually not interesting at all. They’re painfully boring. I love relaxation and peace but I can’t stand monotony. My idea of hell is waking up on a Monday and knowing exactly what I’ll be doing this time next week. My pleasure and passion is to open up my emails and read “Dear Billie, it’s a long shot, but I was wondering if…”.

 

These last few months have been the longest continuous time I have stayed in the UK without travelling for more than a decade. It’s been tricky – I love the UK but if I go too long without sipping an Aperol spritz on a terrace in the med, I start to get withdrawl symptoms! I have created areas of micro-chaos through really switching up my workout routine, cooking all sorts of things I would otherwise have never attempted, decorating my apartment, and other small things that throw up the little conundrums and unexpected moments that I enjoy so much. Of course, many of my wonderful clients have also broken the monotony with thoughtful emails and kind gifts, it’s been very helpful for someone that craves stimulation like me.

 

I do love my own company, but as a choice – not something inflicted on me! Of course, things can always have been much worse, but at the same time I don’t like stagnating… I love to improve myself and my life in very measurable ways, and when I think about these last few months… I feel irritated that the friendships and experiences I would otherwise have had in my new home and new area have instead been replaced by queues for the Post Office and frequent hand washing. I’ve always believed in living life fearlessly and without apology, and one pleasant side effect of the pandemic is I think many people are now coming round to my way of thinking! I love doers. I love decisive men who have the perspective to realise that life is short and pleasure is a priority. After all, locked in the house during a pandemic, so many material things are of no use at all! But wonderful memories hold their value. Experiences are the best investment because the feelings and joy and memories from good experiences stay with you forever. Many people don’t realise this and accumilate many high value items but no high value memories. Why have regrets when you can have experiences!

 

I love contrast and contradiction… my new existence as a domestic goddess/fitness guru is painfully wholesome – yes I love creating recipes, jogging through Regents Park and so on… but I also love sneaking into a hotel dressed like someone’s PA, picking out a sexy lingerie for the evening, flirting outrageously over cocktails, having my panties pulled down without my permission, deep French kissing, etc. Without the excitement and balance of my life as Billie, I’ve had a brief experience of what it must be like I guess… to be a normal girl who’s highlight of the week is watching “Love Island” and having a bubble bath. Urgh!!!! To quote Dorothy Parker – “What fresh hell is this?!”

 

Thank God it’s nearly over. A catch up and some bubbly are in order.

 

For the first time in a long time, if I half close my eyes, next week my diary vaguely resembles a normal week. Things I haven’t entered in months like “lunch date” and “hairdresser”, “Paris” and “manicure” have magically appeared, my lovely regular clients are also finally remerging (hello – this has been awful! Let’s make ourselves feel better about it!) It’s almost like spring, a real sense that things can and will only get better (I fully appreciate that due to threats of a second wave/nuclear destruction/race war, or all of the above, this feeling is somewhat naïve, but allow me a moment of delusion, I haven’t had a cocktail in months and it’s starting to get to me). I have no predictions for what will happen… or I do have predictions but they’re likely to be wrong, so my approach is more than ever to enjoy the wonderful summer season and throw myself into exciting and happy moments, whilst we can. Speaking of which, I was invited to a top secret and very fun party on Friday (all details redacted due to Official Secrets Act) and it reminded me that, good company is such a great antidote for almost anything. Something strange also happened, they had a selection of very good rum, and I previously thought I hated rum, but I tasted one named Ron Zacapa 23 (and a few others which I… ahem, can’t remember the names of) and I found it to be very delicious. I normally dont like things of that flavour profile (don’t enjoy neat spirits and gravitate towards sweet things), but this rum was so delicious! Clearly my palate has become so bored over the last few months that it’s decided to like new things!

 

I have another photo shoot coming up next week (final one!). This one is much sexier than those I’ve done over recent months – the simple reason being photo studios, AirBnBs and hotels have all been closed so it’s been impossible for me to do a sexier shoot, due to not having a location to do one in! Hence I have been shooting fashion, and using the park/nice streets as a location. Feeling somewhat apprehensive at this upcoming shoot as I don’t really think of myself as a consciously sexy person, by which I mean… I’m just me, whatever that is… I am not spending too much time “trying” to be sexy and honestly I just love being a woman so present myself in a feminine way because it’s what I like and how I like to feel. But this shoot will require a lot more sass and a lot more sexiness. I’m looking forward to it – something different and I have a beautiful selection of lingerie, catsuit, leather, heels, lace, stockings… I hope you’ll like it! Also those who contributed something towards the shoot will of course get some exclusive behind the scenes pics xxx

 

Speaking of pics, I finally got some art prints and photography that I’ve had for a while, framed and ready to hang. I’m waiting on one last piece from an artist friend in New York, and then I will have my own little collection. I love the “salon” style of hanging art which is where different shape and sized pieces of art are hung to fit together like a collage, and I’m hoping to do something similar on my own wall. Feeling somewhat inspired by the party I went to, which was at such a beautiful penthouse with some great art – I love beautiful architecture, big, modern art, modern and mid century furniture, good design. Whether it’s a sofa, a stiletto, or a sportscar, I love beautifully designed things with aesthetic detail and integrity. I always notice a nice doorhandle, or a gentleman’s jacket with a luxurious lining, and when I pick clothes for myself or items for my home, I am always taking into account small details and good quality. I would love to really learn more about art this year, as I get so much pleasure from modern art, but other than the handful or artists I know and love, don’t know much else. In some ways, art is a bit like wine – what’s most important is knowing what you like, but that said, it’s always nice to expose yourself to new things. Actually… that’s very much a motto for life!

 

Very much looking forward to next week, and can’t wait to meet you! There mere thought of a waiter saying “would you like still or sparkling water” will be music to my ears!

 

If you can’t flatten the curve, the least you can do is grab mine 😉

 

Big kiss,

Billie xxxx

Viva Calamari

Hi Yummies!

Prepared fresh whole squid and made calamari today – I’ll spare you the grusome details of having to cut its head off then pull the beak out of the tentacles! I screamed like a baby! I’m the odd combination of sqeamish, yet simultanously absolutely willing to get my hands dirty. I have a naturally terrified reaction to having to do things like this at the first time, but at the same time am fiercely compeitive with myself, and am not about to let any animal (alive or dead) beat me! The calamari was a total sucess and absolutely delicious. Not quite as amazing as the one I have enjoyed in Venice many times (where they put small fish and courgettes in the batter as well) but honestly, proud that I managed to prepare and make mone of my favourite dishes. 

 

Buon appetito!

Waitrose (fiction)

Waitrose
Again
2:30pm
The Saturday shop,
A rose tinted blouse
Heels, skinny jeans
And
A devil may care attitude.
Raising hell
Smelling of heaven
A tempting treat
At the delicatessen

Buying things I don’t need.
Talking
Enthusiastically
To the assistant about
Prosciutto.

“- Excuse me, 150 grams of that stilton please?”

Your voice runs down my spine
And settles
Gently
Between my legs.

Covertly, I
Move my head a few degrees to the right and take you in
From the corner of my
Flirtatious eye.
A yummy.
42 ish
Ginger but probably considers himself blonde
And in need of a haircut
Half curls perch on your
Square
Freckled head
Your eyes are blue
A signet ring
Is on your right hand
(you should take that off, before the revolution starts),
Nothing on your left.
I
Interrupt the assistant
“Go for the West Country stilton instead.”

I turn to look you in the eye
As you look me squarely
And conspicuously
In the
Breasts.
Your neck turns red.
“I always get this one it’s very good”
You say, dismissively.
“Well,
Exactly.
Why don’t you try something different? Something you’ve never had before. It’s cheese-“
I say cheekily, flashing you a grin
“- Not a hedge fund. No risk, no reward. Or… is your taste in cheese as boring as your taste in shirts?”
I flash you another giant grin
Pick up my prosciutto and
Strut away.
With a basket swinging
Casually
From
My
Silk clad arm.

You catch up with me near the bakery
Trying to look cool.
“I got the West Country-“
A pause,
“What’s wrong with my shirt?”

 

You are very cute.
In a kind of
Socially uncomfortable
Fundamentally miserable

Repressed-but-considers-himself-liberated
English way.

I’d love to fuck you.

You stand
Awkwardly
Between the
Muffins and the
Bagels
Whilst I bend over in my jeans
Attempting to pick a pack of
Teacakes from the bottom shelf –
I simply
Can’t decide
And my backside sways left and right as I
Deliberate between the
Own brand and the
Warburtons.
I look back at you and flash a
Particularly
Playful grin

Own brand it is.
(can’t spend £3.49 on teacakes, we’re due a recession)
I straighten myself up.

Checked, button down shirt
(Probably GANT or something)
No tie
Diesel jeans-
Tapered cut, 34 waist 32 leg
R.M. Williams Chelsea boots, in battered brown suede
A half belly
The remnants of a rugby physique
Ginger hairs sprouting from your forearms like watercress
And
Trying to think of something clever to say.
Another pause,
Then, finally, your best effort-
“So. You like tea cakes, do you?”

I laugh out loud
Guess this counts as a chat up line
Round South Ken.

The human brain is a
Mysterious thing-
Alas,
I
Still want to fuck you.

I survey your basket:
Potatoes
Some sort of protein drink
Asparagus
Tuna steaks
Weetabix
6 pack of Sol beers
Two limes
Apples
Coffee
Gillette
Mayonnaise
Rye bread
Smoked salmon
A measly 150 grams of Stilton
Asprin:

Single.

I imagine
Behind closed doors
You have a lovely leather corner couch and you fuck me on there
But accidentally cum in 3 minutes or so and I go to your fridge and
Get you
One of the beers and
You let me wear your shirt
(The one I secretly like but am pretending not to).


I allow myself a few final seconds
On the couch with you
Then snap back to reality.

“Billie.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“My name is Billie.”
“Oh. I’m er. Ha. Er. Tony”
I can’t concentrate and keep
Wondering
Ridiculous things like
Do you really like tuna steaks (yuck)
Why aren’t you married and
If you like having your balls licked.
Would you bend me over
Or sit me on top?

A card drenched in sweat is pressed into my palm

“I have to go-“
You half run away.
I stand and watch your arse as you bolt to the self-checkout.
I look down and turn over the damp card
“Anthony Clarke, Senior Partner”
And the name of a firm I don’t know.

It’s all rather predictable.
But what’s not to like about
A
Predictable romp
At the Four Seasons
Or the
Predictable quaffing of
Predictably good champagne.

Thong
Thoroughly soaked
I
Pay for my items
Desperately trying to avoid
Grey hair here
Chinos there
Brogues and a bald head by the rotisserie
A Patek pushing a trolley through the
Fruit and veg and
Almost walk
Head first into
5ft 10
14 stones
White shirt
With initials stitched on the front
A discrete gold watch
Small eyes and
Such an intoxicating
Presence of
Stress and
Testosterone I nearly
Fall to my knees
But accept
A
Wry smile and a wink
Instead.

Oh Waitrose,
Leveller of all men.
I
Couldn’t be without you.

-BF

Body and Sole

My pan fried lemon sole, with brown butter, capers, asparagus, and mash. A very classic combination, and so delicious! Nest on the menu, marinated dry aged steaks (I went for a rib eye, instead of my usual sirloin. Seasoned with yellow mustard seed, smoked paprika, cayenne, garlic powder, parsley, with sauteed potatoes and creamed spinach (okay, I bought the creamed spinach… dont judge!) Watch this space…

 

B xxx

Quarantine Kitchen

My Linguine Alle Vongole – my favourite pasta (okay, maybe joing first with lazagne) and the most simple recipe with delicious fresh clams. I’m cooking a lot of seafood and shellfish at the moment (goes so well with the warm weather and a nice chilled crisp glass of white wine!) This was my first time cooking clams – which I bought live. The recipe was a success… so delicious!