He steps towards me, towering over me even in my heels and pulls me by my waist towards him. Our bodies pressed against each other, we kiss deeply and passionately.
Just as Mr Hardigain is hastily removing his jacket there’s a knock at the door, and it slowly opens.
I jump towards the table and take a seat, legs crossed and pretending to flick through my emails, milliseconds before a well-dressed gentleman enters with a briefcase, and a folder overflowing with paperwork. His glasses are slightly crooked and there’s an air of acute frustration about him.
“A bloody liberty that’s what this is!” he exclaims, glaring at the both of us “I’ve got three cases on at the minute, one very serious fraud and two mega deals with the Russians and you… you’ve got me HERE!” his hand shakes with rage and a few sheets of paper escape and fall to the floor “You’ve got me here AGAIN Willie, because YOU cant keep your goddamn willie in your pants!!!!!”
He strides to the table and slams down the folder.
I sit there in silence, confused as to what’s going on. I glance at one of the loose sheets of paper on the floor and recognise the name on the letter header. Surely this cant be THE Kenneth Lingwood? I think to myself. Not Lingwood the famous contract lawyer? The one who’s famously never lost a case (but settled many out of court, obviously). Why on earth would he be –
“I’ve got 5 minutes to look at the document Willie” he says impatiently, glancing at a tatty old Cartier watch on his wrist “and I’m only doing this as a favour because we go way back. This goes tits up and you’re on your own.”
He glances at me with a curious mix of disgust and pity.
Mr Hardigain hands him a single page of printed A4 paper, a little too far away for me to be able to clearly read it. Lingwood adjusts his glasses and peers over it, a pen hovering over each line as he slowly reaches the bottom. Finally he finishes.
“Is this it?” he asks
“Yes” replies Mr Hardigain “Is it airtight?”
“This is…” Lingwoods voice cracks, seemingly unable to control his outrage “This is one of the most… legally spurious, perverse contracts I have ever… I have ever…”
“- is it airtight?” Hardigan interjects, cooly.
“Well as you bloody well know” Lingwood lowers his voice to a whisper and turns his back to me “If she signs this of course it’s airtight but….” I listen intently but can only hear the odd word or phase “enforceable… but… NDA… need a bloody therapist… Geneva convention… I will not be witness… end of my career… remember that girl… no judge would… Jesus Christ…” and then finally “does SHE even know about all this?”
They both turn to face me. I stare back earnestly, trying to figure out what on earth is happening. I muster a smile, which neither of them returns.
“It’s…” Mr Lingwood begins gathering up his paperwork “Willie… It’s what you need it to be.”
He strides towards the door, pauses for a moment then doubles back and hands me his card. “Good luck!” he exclaims, before turning on his heel and leaving.
The moment the door shuts I get to my feet.
“What was all that?” I ask “Is this? What’s going on? As your Personal Assistant, I demand to be-“
“Lingwood” Mr Hardigain says calmly “Is an old friend of mine. I… I just needed someone to look over your work contract before you sign, just to check everything is er… legally… er… legal.”
“Why wouldn’t it be legal?” I ask, letting out a nervous laugh.
“If you just sign, then we can finish your first day early. I’ll send you home for the rest of the day on full pay and of course, please have the things I’ve asked for ready by tomorrow.”
Mr Hardigain puts down the single sheet of A4 paper, and a Mont Blanc pen. He slides it towards me and I see for the first time, what appears to be the outlines of a basic contract. I pick up the pen (lovely pen) and skim read the page, my eyes widening with more and more shock at every line. The page reads:
I ________________ do hereby enter a contract with Mr Willie B Hardigain.
This contract states that I _________________ must
- Always wear high heeled stilettos and silk stockings whilst in the office environment.
- When not in an office environment must always be wearing matching lingerie under clothing in either lace or silk.
- I must provide the following services to My Hardigain within 10 minutes of him having requested:
- Oral sex (including but not limited to: blowjobs, rim jobs, ball sucking, deepthroat, and cock worship).
- Massages (including but not limited to: back and shoulder massage, deep tissue massage, scalp massage, and foot rub.
- Deep and passionate French kissing with tongues, kissing and affection, both in public and private environments.
- Full penetrative sex. Both vaginal and anal, in all possible positions, in private environments, hotel rooms, the office after hours, company car etc.
- Be willing to groped both clothes and fully nude, in all positions, in any private environment.
- Fully naked photos must be sent to Mr Hardigain twice weekly so he can be sure I _____________ am staying in shape.
- Must have a current valid British passport and be able to travel at 12 hours notice, anywhere in the world.
- Must in no uncertain terms, share the contents of this contract with any third parties, media outlets, friends, family members, or anyone other than the other person stated in this contract.
- Must have a manicure and pedicure at all times, must work out a minimum of twice a week, must keep up to date on all news, politics, and current affairs.
- Must not engage in excessive complaining, nagging or otherwise bothering Mr Hardigain during working hours, unless it is a work matter, or the matter pertains to something mentioned in this contract.
- Plan all itineraries for business travel, including flights, transfers, hotels and restaurant reservations, entertainment, theatre tickets and any other particulars.
- Must maintain a fully monogamous relationship with Mr Willie B Hardigain, maintaining an outwardly modest demeanour, and not relieving yourself of any sexual gratification that is not at the hands of Mr Willie B Hardigain, or yourself.
- Must dress appropriately at all times:
- A classy and sophisticated designer office wardrobe. Skirts above the knee and trousers are not permitted in the office.
- In private environments must have a full selection of lingerie in lace and silk, fetish outfits, and uniforms
- If 11 a) or b) are not adhered to, you will be sent home to change
Every day in the Hardigain office is a new adventure. However, the following Schedule must be adhered to:
- 7-7:30am massage and or/oral sex performed on Mr Hardigain
- Lunch hour and business lunches: You must relieve Mr Hardigain during business lunches. You will have to find creative ways in which to do so without arising suspicion. He will instruct.
- Board meetings: You must relieve Mr Hardigain after board meetings. He will instruct.
- After hours: After hours at the office you must perform an erotic strip tease for Mr Hardigain, whereafter he will instruct you on how best to please him.
- Weekends: Mr Hardigain will occasionally need you on weekends and private holidays. You must make yourself available.
All costs incurred in maintaining this contract will be covered by Mr Willie B Hardigain. Your budget will correlate with your progress and dedication to your job, which will be plotted in monthly progress reports. Should you breach contract yet wish to remain in contract, suitable punishments will be arranged at the discretion of Mr Hardigain.
This is a non-negotiable contract. Should you wish not to sign this contract, your temporary contract as a Personal Assistant will terminate immediately and you will no longer be an employee at Hardigain investments, and will have no future opportunity to join this company, nor any subsidiary companies or partnered companies at a later date. In the interest of discretion, you will also be blacklisted form working in the City, with no view to having this blacklist removed at a future date. If and when you decide to leave this contract, should you do so after more than 1 year (365 days) employment you will be given a generous severance, providing you sign a Non Disclosure Agreement. Should you refuse an NDA, you will be….”
My eyes widen to the size of saucers at the final line
“…Prosecuted for the sexual harassment of Mr Willie B Hardigain”
I look up from the contract, a massive fake grin spreading across my face, and let out a fake, girly giggle.
“You’re so funny” I laugh “I can tell you’re going to be really fun to work for with a sense of humour like that! Everyone says you’re a really funny gu-“
“It’s not a joke and I’m now running late for my next meeting so how about you sign the contract, and you can start properly tomorrow” says Mr Hardigain, prickling with impatience.
“I…” The smile drops from my face “I mean… this can’t be serious as serious contract! I… I mean, oral sex? What are you talking about? Stockings? And If… then… if I… you try and prosecute ME? Mr Haridgain… Do I look desperate to you?” I ask, with all the attitude I can muster.
“Yes.” He replies curtly. “You took an Uber pool to work and I’ve already run a credit check. Thirty grand worth of student debt, 4 credit cards, a shopping habit you can’t afford and your landlord is trying to evict you.”
I stand there mouthing wordlessly, absolutely stunned.
“Mr Hardigain. Let me tell you a story. I grew up in-“
“No” he interrupts, rudely “No we’re not going to do this crying begging poor me poor life bullshit. I’ve been there before and they all sign in the end. I can improve your prospects expeditiously so either sign the contract or get out.”
The room is swallowed by a deafening silence.
I reach for the Mont Blanc and pause – my pen hovering over the page, over my future in The City. I take a deep breath, exhale, and…
Sign the contract; my palm sweating and my underwear suddenly damp.
“Good. Now pull your skirt down.”
Well, I think to myself, it’s not my fault if I’m contractually obliged.
I do as I’m told and Mr Hardigain approaches me, sliding his hand under my silk panties and between my legs. His fingers return soaking wet.
“That’s what I like…” he says, hastily unzipping his trousers and pushing me to my knees. Before I’ve had a chance to catch my breath, he shoves his hard cock into my mouth – pulling my head down onto him, the tip of his cock pushed deep in the back of my throat. He cums in my mouth within seconds then pulls out.
Unsure what to do, and embarrassed to have enjoyed it, I swallow and get to my feet, trying to look elegant as I put my skirt back on.
Mr Hardigain has taken a seat and watches me get dressed.
“Swallow was not in the contract Billie, but I’m pleased with your effort! I’ll have your company card arranged for tomorrow morning. Remember,” he says, folding my contract in half and handing it to me “7am tomorrow for the… er… massage.”
I nod silently.
“I can’t wait to have you sat on my cock” he says, casually, picking up his briefcase. “Anyway, I have to dash Billie – tomorrow – 7am. Don’t be late, or you will be punished.”
The next morning I awake at exactly 5:30am, giving myself plenty of time to get ready for Mr Hardigain and arrive at the office on time.
As I’m drying my hair, I switch on the radio and hear a chirpy “Now remember folks, clocks went forward last night so it’s been one less hour in bed. This is Pete Mackey reporting for Talk FM, at 6am of shall I say, 7am on Tuesday the 29th….”
I gasp. My heart skips three beats, a knot turning in the pit of my stomach. My iPhone smashed last week, and unable to afford the repair, I was forced to buy a much cheaper handset. A cheaper handset which clearly doesn’t update for daylight saving time. Oh no!
Panic stricken, I throw on whatever clothes I have to hand and head straight to work, arriving 45mins late, my lipstick smudged and my shirt un-ironed. I hurry through the office, avoiding the disapproving glances of my colleagues and head straight for Mr Hardigains office.
I enter, close the door, and immediately begin trying to explain
“I am soooo so sorry, what happened was my phone, I had the new iPhone but then-“
“Not another word.”
Mr Hardigain is sat behind his desk, breathing heavily through his nose, his neck red with anger. “What I need…” he explains calmly “Is for you to pull down your skirt and bend over this desk.”
He stands up to watch me do it.
Embarrassed, I pull down my short (oops!) skirt, and bend over the desk, realising that in my haste, I’ve forgotten to put underwear on.
To be continued….!